Some Guys

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“I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list” -Susan Sontag

I continue my own personal journey of enjoying my time at all 50 states with a very special road trip that was full of fun, memories, and most all, laughter. In early 2014, I had thought of maybe road tripping from Cincinnati all the way to several states, including Denver where I felt that I needed to visit once again (See my previous entry “5 Mas!”). The trip did not materialize since it wasn’t feasible at the time. I figured that maybe I should do a road trip closer to home. I think that this is one of the best things about Cincinnati and is the fact that you are sorrounded by many states that can be visited without spending too much money. I figured I should go see the South and see if this Southern Hospitality thing everyone kept mentioning was true.

I spoke with a couple of comedian friends to see if they wanted to join in on the trip. I didn’t mind traveling alone, but there is nothing like being in a car with a bunch of comedians that you can call friends. Life is better enjoyed with the people that promote happiness in it. Wes, Kris, and Phil were all in for the ride. Wes even made sure to find us shows in the places that we were going to be at. Kris made us a flyer. Phil promoted the shows, especially the ones in Alabama since he is a War Eagle from the state. I was The Transporter although a bit sexier. It wasn’t just a getaway now. It was a comedy getaway.

Nothing could go wrong…right?

Wrong.

Well, the trip almost didn’t happen thanks to my imbecile will to try new things. As ridiculous as it may sound, I never learned how to ride a bike. Done laughing? Good. So I finally learned at 31 years old. I got too confident 2 weeks before trip though and almost broke my leg while riding on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. I had my right leg on a brace and could barely move it. I did my best to rest the leg and treat it since thankfully, there were no broken bones. The leg was still hurting and I was (and still am) unable to fully bend my knee. Fact is I wasn’t going to let this injury screw up our plans, especially after so much preparation for this trip. It really hurt to walk but I was ready even if I wasn’t.

Wes, Phil, Kris and I headed out on the morning of October 29 2014.

 

Capture

Here’s our projected route. That’s almost 2,000 miles, son!

Tennessee

Music City U.S.A was certainly an amazing sight. From the vivid skylines (Nashville has one of my favorite skylines in the U.S) to the picturesque sights of nature, Tennessee has it all. The ride through Tennessee was a lot fun. We listened to a bunch of comedy specials from Tom Segura, Todd Barry, and Marc Maron. We also listened to some great tunes such as Donkeydick by The Mentors and Sail by Awolnation which we turned it into a long running joke. Our destination was Memphis, but before we arrived we made a special stop. Right between Memphis and Nashville, there’s a safari park where you can drive in in your own car around this park feeding the wild animals that roam this place. Ostriches, wallabies,and buffaloes can all be fed from your car. That is when I found out that Ostriches are jerks and camels prefer full buckets of food than cigarettes. The buffalo was the most impressive in my opinion. I had never seen one in person and it was impressive to see such a huge animal take my bucket of food and disperse it all over my car. There is still animal food in my car, by the way.

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Here’s Wes making out with a deer.

After waving good bye to the spitting camels and a giraffe that was madly in love with a plastic giraffe out front, we were headed to the city of Elvis. We did a show at a bar called the Hi-Tone where we were greeted by Benny, the host of the show. I told some jokes with local comedians who were very welcoming and incredibly nice to us. I wanted to go to Beale Street and see what Marc Cohn was talking about but Benny and the Memphis crew mentioned that the street had become more of a tourist trap than anything else and they had some recommendations of where to go. We went to a karaoke bar where (of course) I went up to sing Walking In Memphis because I am that big of a corny, touristy bastard. It was on my bucket list! That was the thing I wanted to do whenever I made it to Memphis. Sing Walking in Memphis while in Memphis. I went on stage and I was thinking that the people there would get excited about hearing their anthem. That they would get on their feet and everyone would hold hands and sing this song right? Wrong. The song was more overplayed in Memphis than a Pink Floyd CD at an acid party. When the piano started playing people were like “Aw, fuck!”. It was a very funny moment.

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Thank you Benny and crew!

The next morning we headed to Graceland to visit the King. Turns out the King charges you $45 to see his house so we decided to take some pictures outside, write some terrible messages on walls such as “Elvis was ok”, hopped in the car, went to our next destination.

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Mississippi

Biloxi is a hidden gem. It is sort of a small Vegas in front of the ocean. The beautiful scenic route US 90 really exemplifies what treasures Biloxi hides. Running parallel to the coast, US 90 is a road trippers dream come true. This is what I would like to experience 1 day when I get to drive through the Pacific Coast Highway which I expect to do 1 day. You might be thinking “Luis,  what did you want to do in Biloxi that was iconic or memorable?”. Simple. Air-boats.

 

1545052_10154717836735319_7810097841821186911_nAir-boating with a gator boy!

I was not able to do this with the guys but a month before our trip, I was sent to Mobile, Alabama for work  and I decided to make a quick drive to a gator air-boat tour down in Gulfport, Mississippi. It was definitely an incredible rush that really demonstrated the greatness (and the dangers) of nature. Did I mention that the Air-boat was friggin’ fast?!

The view from our hotel.

The view from our hotel.

Back to the current trip. It was very short (only 1 night) and although, the view from our hotel was priceless, the bad part was that not only did we not have a comedy show or open mic booked, but it was a Thursday night so the bars and streets were pretty much empty. We went and spent our night at a pizza place where we played a musical bingo. Exciting! Biloxi is a place to relax and enjoy the soothing sounds of the ocean. A place were gamblers smile and seniors rebel against their walkers and Gold Bond powder. A place for adults. We were kids that week. The next day? We packed and headed off to the playground which was just 2 hours away. To NOLA.

Louisiana

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The things I had to do for all those beads.

New Orleans, LA. What a city. Loved every minute of it. Everyone told me to go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. We went for Halloween. It was the best Halloween that I’ve had so far, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Alright, Let’s. Immediately when we got there we decided to head downtown to an open mic. The bar was closed so the open mic was cancelled. It was 6:00PM and we decided to start the night early by going to Bourbon Street. It was the best decision we would’ve made.  All of us had costumes. I was Hulk Hogan, or Julio Jogan if you want to be Latino about it. Wes was Mordecai from Regular Show. Kris was V. Phil had a skull mask which he mostly used backwards. All of us were very excited to be there.   Although considered a tourist trap by locals, Bourbon Street is definitely a place were everyone should go to at least once in their life when visiting New Orleans. It’s majestic architecture, amazing music and colorful middle finger to the rules of life really put everything into perspective for me. I was in the middle of a big party. I realized that immediately after feeling something hit my head. It was beads. People were making beads rain like it was part of the forecast with the cold winds that blew through the streets. As we walked down Bourbon Street (with Wes high fiving everyone that walked our way), I started doing my best Hogan impressions. People loved it. Actually, I did it too much and lost my voice. So I was limping and without a voice in the French Quarter. Everyone was in costume and it was very entertaining to see a drunk Captain America.  Hey, everyone needs a break from protecting freedom right?  Although the French Quarter was a lot of fun, I felt like there was something mysterious going on in this place. It was weird vibe of a secret that this city was hiding. Weird…but fun. And I loved every minute of it.

As the night continued, we decided to walk over a couple of blocks to another advertised comedy open mic. This mic was also canceled for the night due to a “Rocky Horror Picture” improv show. As we headed back, Wes noticed a party going on at a house which apparently was hosted by some older folks. Wes remembered that it was Halloween and asked the old folks if they had candy, and the old folks let us in just to get candy from their baskets. The folks started taking pictures of us in our costumes. It was hilarious. I honestly think that there are a LOT of people out there that took pictures of us and we didn’t even get a name or contact info for those pictures. If you are reading this and are one of those peeps, tag us will ya? We arrived at Bourbon at 6pm. We arrived back at the hotel at close to 2am. It was THAT MUCH FUN.

 

Jackson Square.

Jackson Square.

Obviously, we decided to return the next day. Little did I know that it was going to be better than Halloween. Here’s a little story for ya, kids! We hit a major traffic jam in Decatur Street so I told Wes and Kris to get out the car so that they could go ahead and enjoy the sights while Phil and I would hunt for a parking spot. Once parked, we were on our way to meet up with our friends. On our way to meet up with Kris and Wes, we saw the cathedral on Jackson Square. It was a beautiful day to enjoy the many architectural wonders that are in the French Quarter. The Spaniard designs really reminded me of walking down Old San Juan back in Puerto Rico. I think because of this, New Orleans became one of my favorite places i’ve visited so far. As we kept walking down the beautiful streets, I kept admiring the “look” of the city until I notice 2 guys with a sign standing in the corner offering “Frank Appraisals Of Your Looks For A Dollar (No Mustaches). Wes and Kris had done it again. These 2 bozos were offering people…strangers… an honest opinion of how these unknown individuals looked so that they would be happy with their looks wherever their destination was, all in exchange a dollar. Sounds crazy right? Well, people actually came up to them and were paying for their frank service! I was a little bit nervous about this since their were a group of homeless people just staring at them for profiting from such a genius plan! With was left of my voice (which was zero), I decided to join and started telling people that we had appraisals in Spanish as well. One of the funniest moments I have ever experienced in all of my travels.

We made about $15 cash.

We made about $15 cash.

I also noticed that a parade was coming our way. Parades happen all the time in New Orleans. Did you know that you and your friends can rent a band and parade through Bourbon Street? They are a lot of fun! This parade coming our way was a different kind of parade. It was a wedding parade. As they passed us, I realized that I can just join the parade as it went by and decided to join the wedding celebration. I was the only wearing a tshirt which gave me away pretty easily but they still accepted me in the parade and even gave me a handkerchief to celebrate with the newlyweds. I made it all the way to the reception where one of the best men realize that my Tom Cruise tshirt didn’t match with everyone else’s tux and asked me to leave. I just crashed my first wedding, ladies and gentlemen. Probably my last.

 

A lil souvenir from the wedding.

A lil souvenir from the wedding.

As I walked back, we all decided to go to another open mic at the Allways Lounge. The bar is a great place to try comedy. Paul Oswell (the host of the open mic) made sure to point out that we were from the great city of Cincinnati every time he went up. We all did great for our sets in all shows, but most importantly, we had fun while doing it. There we met great comedians like Andrew Polk who told us stories about how Louis CK and Hannibal Buress would just walk in to open mics there and perform while Mr. CK was filming a movie in town.  The comedians there were incredibly nice and asked us to join them over at a karaoke bar across the street. This (along with Louis Pub In Chicago) is my favorite karaoke bar so far in the states. Unfortunately, I was without a voice but still did my best to sing Say It Ain’t Song by Weezer.  It was a very fun night thanks to the comedy crew in NOLA. The next day, as I reflected on an amazing 2 day stay in New Orleans on our way out, I realized that I was glad that I did this trip with people that knew more about comedy than I did because I felt that it helped dig more into my brain and help me write newer material. They really pushed me to be better.. I will always be appreciative of Wes, Kris and Phil. On to our next destination…

Alabama

As mentioned previously, I had visited Alabama for a business trip weeks prior to our trip. I was able to visit Mobile and Mobile treated me great (Big shout out to Shannon and the Mobile crew). They all gave me pointers of things to do and places to see for our road trip. This was were I also enjoyed the best pulled pork sandwich I’ve had so far. The name of the place? The Brick Pit. Check it out if you are ever in Mobile.

Back to our road trip:

The sign says "Go to church or the devil will get you".

The sign says “Go to church or the devil will get you”.

As we drove through Sweet Home Alabama (had to do it), we arrive to Montgomery, Alabama. Montgomery was very pleasant to visit. Phil was really looking forward to this show since he had some friends coming out to a show later that night. As we drove through the streets of Montgomery, we stopped at a bar where we met up with one of the local comedians, Trey Brown, who was very welcoming and told us everything about the rising scene in Montgomery. From there, we went straight to our next show. This was at a Hookah Bar. As we walked in, my first impression was that the place was a tad small. That was until we went downstairs to the basement where we discovered that we were performing in a very intimitate setting with a very peculiar lightning decoration. It was an incredible room decorated with Christmas lights and Chinese lamps. It became arguably one of my favorite rooms to perform at. As showtime neared, I notice an impatient Phil. His friends were not there. I could see the concern in his face and I did my best to let him know that they would be there. They did. I wish I could describe Phil’s reaction when he saw his friends coming down the stairs to the basement. His group of friends (about 10 people) were there for him to see him perform for the first time in his hometown. I am sure is a moment he will never forget. I don’t think I will ever be able to experience that feeling. I was happy for my friend.  I think these were our best sets in the trip. The guys in Montgomery treated us like rock stars too. Jason Fifi did an amazing job and was incredibly awesome to us, and so did the rest of the comedians that participated. That was also the night that I saw Wes, for the first time,  have everyone in tears laughing at a joke he did about African American genitalia. You had to be there.

 10169251_10154804125735319_5647545900366531513_nThe Hookah Basement

After a great after-party, we went to bed and drove to Huntsville the next day where we did our last performance of the tour at Maggie Mays. I tried improv for the first time ever at this open mic and reminded me that I need to make an announcement, and that is that I am announcing my retirement from improv.  I sucked bigger than a Kardashian at a pickle eating contest. Thank you Matt for allowing us to perform. I honestly underestimated Alabama and I think that the people there really demonstrated what southern hospitality was all about during our stay. That was all I wanted to experience in the Bama. Be it War Eagle or Roll Tide, everyone that I met in Alabama was very kind to me and I thank you for this. I really would like to go back and do more shows there. Heck, I’d like to go back to Mobile and visit Orange Beach.

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Our final show.

We drove home at 11:00pm and made it to Cincinnati at about 6:00am. I couldn’t stop thinking how awesome our trip was and how thankful I was that almost everything went as planned. It is amazing how insignificant you can feel when you travel. When you realize that there is a bigger world out there. That all we have to do is plan accordingly and direct the path that we want to follow. All this has been done, not with a reason, but with a purpose.

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Thank you Benny, Katrina, Andrew, Paul, Julie, T.J,  Desirae, Shannon, Jamy, Carlos, Matt, Jason, Black Jesus, Trey, Summer, Vernon, The guy at checkers selling chocolates at 10:00pm in Memphis, and of course, Kris, Phil, and Wes.

My leg still bothers me and I will see a doctor this week for it. Hopefully, I won’t need surgery, but if I do, I would like to keep in writing that this trip was worth every minute, even if I had to limp my way to every single destination…and it was all thanks…

To Some Guys.

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Here’s our flyer. Guess what album cover was the inspiration for the flyer in the comments below:

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I will be posting a video of our Safari adventure very soon keep checking this blog out for updates!

***One special and final thank you to Jamy and Carlos. While visiting Mobile, I made it down for a couple of hours to New Orleans and these 2 individuals showed mad love for a fellow Puerto Rican and told me some great tips about NOLA. It was awesome to talk to fellow Boricuas that moved out here for a purpose, and I hope to see you again very soon. Los quiero.

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Here are some jokes we listened to during our road trip:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYIwPu50Fic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zh3NhDt3I_0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EQHdu-rS6E

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVI7KufHK2o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mLCv7v07uo

Remember that you can:

Follow me on Twitter: @LuisFuentesPR

Like me on Facebook: Luis Fuentes Comedy

Comment below on this blog. Tell me what you think.

Read other blogs in this page. You can click the arrows below.

And remember…

Vive La Vida

#Bukutu

The travels continue…

P.S: Lucky Chuck’s Two Buck Truck Fuck

 

3 thoughts on “Some Guys

  1. Gracias x compartir tu viaje conmigo. .. la verdad me diverti muchisimo leyendolo. Kiero k sepas k escribes muy muy bonito! Cada cosa k describiste me lo vivi en el carro con ustedes. A mi tambien Me dieron en la cabeza con los collares en el festival y tambien le di de comer a las jirafas y bese a una… la verdad estoy muy contenta k hayas escrito cada detalle! Me has echo reir con tus locuras y lo k describes en tu blog. Exito!!

  2. Can’t wait to see you again on Thursday at the Twisted Cork in Lexington, Ky! Have fun with your travels and keep the funny coming!

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